I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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