I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He has the fingertips of a God
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