So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
