I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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