I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
