his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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