We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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