i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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