Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
