and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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