So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
