You're my little dorito
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
