I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
