plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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