I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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