Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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