the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
