question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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