just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
