Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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