Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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