I think my vagina is haunted
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
