After last night, I could never be a politician.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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