My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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