He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
is it fun? or sober?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
