I want to have your abortion
she woke up with a sticky ear
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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