I smell stomach acid.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
