You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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