i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
