problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize