Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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