after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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