She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize