I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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