I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
