i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
you never un-have a 4some
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
