Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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