Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I CAN MOONWALK!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
