you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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