We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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