Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
