and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize