just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
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