And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
tell me about the fingering
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