I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
