so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
