No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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