Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
