my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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