Pappa wants mamma naked
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
