How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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