Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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