Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
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