whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
