I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize