ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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