I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
