Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think I am morally bankrupt
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
