you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
