ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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